


Unfaithful

by Shakespeares_Girl



Category: American Idol RPF, Glam Rock RPF
Genre: Angst, Communication, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-07
Updated: 2011-04-07
Packaged: 2017-10-17 17:17:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/179152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shakespeares_Girl/pseuds/Shakespeares_Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for angst bingo and cross-posted at my LJ.  Kris can't lie like this anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unfaithful

Kris closed the front door carefully behind him. He wasn't sneaking out—not exactly, but he didn't want to have to explain to Katy where he was going.

Their relationship had turned into an intricate dance. Katy would ask carefully worded questions, and Kris would answer them, just as carefully, and neither one of them mentioned the elephant in the room, the cloud raining over their heads. She never said his name anymore, and Kris didn't call her out on it. They both needed to pretend for a little while longer. Or, that's what Kris had thought. But now, more and more, he just wants the pretending to be over. The dance already whispers “I know” with every step they take.

Somehow, the secrecy, the avoidance had made it all easier at first, like none of it was quite real. Katy's hesitance and Kris' continuing ability to lie—to himself mostly, but also to her—got him out the door and where he wanted to be faster during those first few months. But outside their house, the pretense had always dropped, even in Kris' mind, and only one thing would work to calm the nerves and the guilt eating at Kris' belly.

He gets into his car and drives, the route familiar, and it would be even if this wasn't exactly what it looked like. His hands tighten on the wheel, and one word, one name echos in his head as he realizes that even inside his house, he's alone and lonely. The drive is a blur, and Kris can't remember if he ran stop signs and traffic signals, if he sped his way there, or if he obeyed traffic laws. He's racked up more moving violations these past months than most people get their entire lives.

None of that matters. He would go to jail if it meant he could get to him faster. He would run any number of red lights, speed far above the legal limit, get on a plane and fly half way across the world to see him. He's done all of those things, too, at one time or another.

He pulls into the driveway, finally there, and his nerves pull tight under his skin. The moment before he gets inside is always the worst. He pushes the button on the garage door opener and drives inside, shutting off the car and closing the big mechanical door behind him. Fear zings along his spine, because maybe this is the time when he'll be denied, when he'll be turned away, sent back to his wife with a sad smile and a shake of the head.

Shaking slightly, he gets out of the car and goes through the door to the kitchen. He lets it shut a little noisily behind him, and from around the corner he hears a happy gasp and a voice call “Kris?” At the sound of his name, he knows he's not going to be turned out, not tonight, not ever.

“Adam,” Kris says, voice quiet, breaking on the single word. Adam comes around the corner, tall and hunched over a little in his t-shirt and pajama pants, because when he's like this it's the one time his posture doesn't matter, the one time he doesn't have to hold himself in complete control. He's so beautiful, and Kris wants to cry because he's done. He can't do this to any of them anymore.

He doesn't realize he's said that out loud until Adam's arms are around him and he's being led to the living room, settled on the couch, curled up next to Adam. “Tell me, baby,” Adam asks, and Kris breaks.

“I can't,” he breathes, feeling finally at peace. “It's not fair to you, it's not fair to her. I have to end this.”

Adam shifts next to him, but Kris doesn't let him pull away, keeps their hands twined and his body pressed up against Adam. “Kris,” Adam says, and it sounds like a warning, but Kris doesn't care, can't think about any of it.

“I need to tell her—shit, I have to tell her. I want you there, I—you have to come with me. I can't do it alone.”

“Kris,” Adam says again, and it sounds like his heart is breaking, so Kris looks up, but Adam doesn't say anything, just stares at him, lip caught between his teeth and eyes wet with tears. “Kris,” he says again, finally.

“I have to, Adam, I can't live like this anymore. There's no peace—I can't—I just—I come here. I come here for everything, and my own house, the one with my name on the title deed doesn't even feel like home and I can't stand it anymore, I can't take it, the sneaking out and the careful questions and the lying. It was fun at first, thrilling, and then it was necessary, and now—now I just can't. I can't, Adam. You have to understand, please, I--”

“Shh, okay,” Adam quiets him, stroking fingers down Kris' cheek. They come away wet. “It's okay. I understand, it's too much to ask of you. I get it. I just—I'll get over it. I promise. We can—we can still be friends, right?”

“I—I don't know. Katy probably won't like you very much for a really long time,” Kris frowns. “I didn't think you were that good friends to begin with.”

“Not—not me and Katy, you and I. We'll still be friends? I can't lose you, not all the way, not forever,” Adam laughs, sounding hysterical.

Kris throws himself across the couch at Adam, wrapping his arms around the hunched shoulders, the lightly freckled neck, pushing fingers into the dyed-black hair that he loves more than anything. “No, you stupid—you're an idiot sometimes, but God, I love you more than I can even--”

Adam tries to push him back, but Kris clings tighter, gripping shoulders that are strong enough to carry Kris from his car in the garage all the way up to Adam's bedroom, at the other end of the house on the second floor. “Kris,” Adam says again, confused this time. Kris loves that his name can mean so many things coming from Adam's lips, loves that it can be a question or a demand or just a happy declaration.

“I'm choosing you,” he manages finally, mouth muffled against Adam's neck. “It's you, I'm choosing you.”

The arms that surround him are all the answer Kris needs in return.


End file.
